


Blank

by yeaka



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 21:39:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5391338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeaka/pseuds/yeaka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kíli, like any dwarf, could have nothing down his trousers.</p>
            </blockquote>





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**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Fill for anon’s “A non-dwarf starts getting sexual with a dwarf, and when the trousers come off the non-dwarf is expecting something similar to human (elf? hobbit?) genitalia. But what they find is way, way different. What it actually looks like is up to you, filler. Is it horrifying? Elegant? Giggle-worthy? Or maybe even nothing at all. And even better, how does the non-dwarf react? Horny? Terrified? Both? Go crazy with it. The weirder the better” prompt on [the Hobbit Kink Meme](http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/14338.html?thread=25554690#t25554690).
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own The Hobbit or any of its contents, and I’m not making any money off this.

They meet halfway, in a cheap room in a Dale Inn where they don’t have to worry about scornful looks from either of their peoples. They start with light drinks, fun anecdotes, news, and finally _kisses_ , then searching hands and heated fumbling, the two of them locked tight on the couch with their fingers in each other’s hair. There’s nothing Kíli doesn’t love about Tauriel, and for all his family’s complaints, she’s just as adoring back. He covers her with his passion and revels in the way she touches him, her slender fingers tracing beneath his tunic and her lithe thighs parted around his lap, her elegant torso curved in a perfect arch above him. His head’s back on the armrest, jaw open, stubble brushing her smooth chin. Her breath is warm, her skin like fire. She’s so wondrously _beautiful_.

She kisses his lips, his nose, his cheek, and her hands stray down his sides while his clutch at her chest—her small, firm breasts are such a delight to _squeeze_ —and then her fingers slip between his legs, through dark, coarse curls.

She feels him around, thumb brushing his thighs and knuckles tugging at the hair, exploring like he does to her. At first, Kíli doesn’t notice when her movements slow, her kisses trailing out. Then she pulls back, half-lidded eyes searching his in evident confusion.

She grips him tight and asks, dazed, “Wh... where is it?”

“Where’s what?” Kíli asks, just as husky, his teeth scraping her jaw while he kisses to her neck. She gives him a little push so that he’s shoved back to the pillows, and he looks up at her with just as much confusion.

Her pale cheeks flush a pretty pink. “Your... you know.”

Kíli tilts his head. “No, I don’t.”

Tauriel blushes darker, until it clashes with her bright hair, so vivid as she always is. He wants to kiss her again but stays where he is. He _always_ wants to kiss her. After a moment of awkward silence, Tauriel seems to realize that Kíli has no answer and slowly explains, “Your genitalia.”

“My what now?”

“Your _parts_ ,” she finally stresses, eyes widening now as she becomes incredulous with surprise. “Kíli, you don’t have _anything_ there!”

If she means where her hand is, of course he does. He has skin and muscle and flesh, just like everywhere else. Wrinkling his nose, he asks, “Why would I?” Then, on a curious whim, “What’ve you got there?”

“A vagina,” she splutters, looking equal parts as surprised that she has to explain that. It takes Kíli a second to place the word—it’s not one that comes up often. But he’s old enough and well traveled enough to not be completely unknowledgeable about other species, which, until now, he thought just applied to animals. 

Knitting his brows together, he confirms, “Like a hole?” He can’t help the way his face twists up; the image that comes into his mind is a very confusing one. He has no idea what to do with a vagina. 

Tauriel looks just as lost and seems to search for words, until she finally mumbles, “Then how do dwarves... how do you _mate_?”

“Fertilizing the egg,” Kíli answers, equally as shocked that he has to explain that.

“Well, where does the fertilizer come from?”

“My belly button.”

Tauriel just _stares_.

Then she takes her hands slowly out of his trousers. He appreciates it. She’s looking at him funny, but he’s absolutely returning the favour. She sits stiffly up, and he follows suit, their hands now carefully away from one another. The thought of her having some kind of hole _down there_ is just... _bizarre._ He needs an adjustment period.

He still loves her, of course. No matter what kind of weird things are going down there. When he joked about her touching him the first time they met, this isn’t the outcome he expected. From her response, he thought she knew. Now he just wants to talk about anything else.

Needing a distraction, he suggests, “We should go out for dinner.” 

“Somewhere public,” she instantly agrees.

“No funny business.”

“Absolutely.”

Together, they hurry off the couch, off to digest new information and as much food as they can get to stall.


End file.
